I have not wrote this pasta and I am in no way taking credit for it, neither I am related to it in any way, I am just posting this here.
One day i was eating at a fast food resturant with my family, when the waiter asked us what are apatizers should be. i said. "i would like the onion rings" im a massive shrek fan so of course i orderd the onions. My family ordered french fries. Fucking farquaads. I put an onion ring in my older brother's drink when he wasn't looking. its a common fact that farquaads are allergic to onions. he spits it out. "What the fuck!", he says as he spits it out.
"Jimmy!, why would you put an onion in your brother's drink", said my mom. "If you keep on miss behaving, we wont take you to see Shrek 4 tonight", said my dad. the waitor gave out coloring sheets to me and my brother. i get a faggy despicle me 2 coloring sheet and my brother gets a Shrek 4. "hey, can we trade", i say. "No way despicle me 2 is gay." Brother starts scribbling on shrek. Dufaq is he doing? I grab shrek coloring sheet. Parents not giving a shit. "LET GO SHREK FAG", my brother shouted. "MARK! Watch your launguage.we're in a resturant." Mom said: "can i have one of your onion rings, Jimmy?" of course i declined because she wasn't a shrek fan. "Shrek woudn't want you to eat these", i said. "Hahaha shrek is dreck", she says. "Here mom, you can have one", i say grinning. She eats it. "ha ha you dumbfuck", i say to Mom. "THAT'S IT.", my dad says. "I'M NOT TAKING YOU TO SEE SHREK 4" i start crying and i pray to shrek. suddenly i heard rumbles
Shrek bursted out of the wall and said: "THAT'S ENOUGH, LADDEHS!!! IT'S TIME TO FEEL THE POWER OF MEH FUCKING FIST" he punches my dad in the face and he dies. then he ripped him in half. he used my dad's spine to scratch his ogre butt. my mom starts gagging. the onion ring started kicking in. like i said before, farquaads are allergic to onions. shrek pulls off his clothes and you could see his eshrektion. i was very aroused. i jump on the table trying to please shrek. "it's not yer turn laddeh" shrek throws an onionade and kills 5 people. donkey jumps in through the window and starts head butting people in the ass. shrek kills 7 other people with his massive eshrection. shrek and donkey kill people utill there is one family away. Shrek was going to spare them but then he saw the daughter was wearing a despicle me 2 shirt on. "DEHSPICABLE MEH 2 IS FER FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGS" Shrek takes her and slams her on the floor 5 time then he butt rapes her untill his green slimy cum comes out of her mouth. shrek looks at the family. shrek gets real close and whispers: "DIS IS DAH PART WHERE YOU RUN AWAY" the family ran for there life. Shrek turns to my brother. he's shivvering in fear. ".....shrek is love.....shrek is life", my brother says, obviously lying. "ef yeh truely love meh, wut dus an onion and an ogre hav in common?" my brother is silent. i know the awnser but i dont tell him. "they both make you cry?" "Wrong" "wait! i ment-" "your time is ogre" Shrek starts mouth raping my brother. he's screaming and crying. im crying to.....tears of jealosly. shrek rapes him so hard that he sharts. my brother is dead. "sorry laddeh, i muss go" "NOOOO! SHREK DONT GO" but by the time i finish he's gone
Liek dis if you cry everytiem