The Butt Cuck Man is a demon creature from Kentucky which takes on the appearance of a giant asshole with legs. If it catches you, it uses its vacuum like rectal suction to pull you inside it and will make you suffocate. The Butt Cuck Man has been sighted since 1666. If you do happen to summon him you're most likely going to die painfully and there's absolutely no pay off if you survive. So here's how to summon him.
Here is a list of the materials you'll use:
- A mirror
- A spooky black candle
- Matches (You could probably just use a lighter but it's spookier if you use matches)
- At least 20 hentai films
- A Television
- A ziplock bag
- A plastic boner
- An anime body pillow
- DVD Player
You must be completely naked to perform this ritual. At 12:00 A.M get out your body pillow and hump the living daylights out of it until it stands up on its own. If the body pillow is not standing up on its own by 12:30 A.M, abort the mission. Once it's 12:30 A.M you must watch all 20 hentai films and masturbate to each one of them. You will keep all your loads in the ziplock bag. If you are not finished cumming by 3:00 P.M abort the mission. Once it's 3:00 place your jizz bag right outside on your porch. Get your matches and light the spooky black candle and grab your plastic boner and mirror. You must place the mirror on the ground below you. Drop the boner on it and shatter the mirror. You must then pick up the boner, brush away the glass shards, and shove it deep inside your asshole. If it is removed during the ritual, abort the mission. Make sure you are equipped with salt. This will ward off Butt Cuck Man temporarily if thrown at him. Kosher salt will work but I prefer to use salt from CS:GO pubs.
Turn off all of your lights and wait for 3:33 A.M to strike. When it does, walk around your house with the salt,candle, and matches(in case the candle gets blown out) to guide you. You may hear distant sexual moaning and faint screaming that sounds something like, "POUND IT HARDER, BTICH!" or "OOOOOHHHHHH YEAH! WHO'S YOUR DADDY?". You may also hear the faint sounds of Onision's voice. These are signs that Butt Cuck Man is near. Make sure to have your salt ready to go. If you do happen to come across him you must quickly throw the salt into his ass crack. This will only work a few times, so it's best not to rely on this tactic too much.
If you candle gets put out by accident, then you have 10 seconds to re-light it or else you're dead. You could probably have re-lighted the candle in less than 3 seconds if you just used a lighter, but it's not nearly as spooky as matches. Also, I know what you're thinking:
"My candle will probably burn out naturally within the time span of the ritual. What am I gonna do then?”
I don't know. Were you really expecting a Ritual Pasta to be realistic or well written? If you avoided being sucked into the gaping vortex that is Butt Cuck Man's asshole then the ritual will end at 6:33 A.M. You have gained nothing, put your life on the line, will have terrible nightmares, and have severe rectal stretching. Good job, retard. Maybe you deserved it if you're willing to summon a gay, hick demon all because some guy told you to over the internet. Way to go.